I know a lot of people just roll their eyes and continue with regular business once they hear some freak talking about their obscure drug stories conjugated up in a delirious frenzy but I feel it is important that I tell you anyway. Whoever you are. Who are you anyways? CIA? FBI? UFO? Anyways, I had purchased two hits of acid from this black market salesman as I like to call 'em about half way through September. I originally had planned to keep them in my freezer until my birthday, October 9th. However, I heard friends saying the chemical can disintegrate if left in there too long. That and each day that passed when I had them freezing in there, I became continuously more bored and curious. So finally, after about a week, it was September 24th and I decided to eat 'em! It was about 4:20 in the morning when I put one hit on my tongue and swallowed it after a couple minutes. I took it so early in the morning because I had seen the sunrise on mushrooms before and I remember that being very inspiring and insightful so I figured I would revisit that experience. Something about the sun rising is just so much more graceful and peaceful then watching it set. Since it was 4:20, I figured I would smoke a little weed until I start trippin'. Then I threw on The Beatles Yellow Submarine to set the mood right. I finished my bowl o' Mary Jane and watched the entire movie but I didn't feel any different. The movie was entertaining and the weed got me high but I felt the same as before, basically. So I called over my blood brother for life who just got off the graveyard shift at his job. He came over and I told him about my experiences so far. He figured I mind as well eat the other dose since the first didn't do anything. Good point. I ate the other hit and asked him to drive me around. So here I am being driven around with two hits of LSD in my system when I start feeling a grin stretch across my face. I started impulsively giggling in the car as I notice the colors around me becoming more and more interesting. My older brother gave me a funny look and shook his head. He knew what was up. Alright so these colors and textures are pretty cool. No big deal. He drove me up to the top of this cool little hill that overlooks the town. Only me and my friends know about the hill so it made it a special place to be. We snagged a few snap shots and I went to took a piss on a very strange looking bush. After sharing a few laughs, we decided to continue driving. We couldn't go straight home yet, I might have to interact with normal people o_O. That's when we decided to check out the local park and rec area. We smoked a little more ganja and strolled on down the dog walking paths. More pictures. That's when we discovered a kind of hidden path behind a fallen tree. Shuffling and scraping through some bush we found ourselves staring at a dried up swamp with old tires scattered all over the place. What a strange scene, my mind was exploding with ideas of wonder and confusion. We thought maybe the dogs played in the tires or something. We soon learned that wasn't the case when we kept running into old tires all over the place. We walked across fallen trees and tires in the dried out pond and made our way slowly to the forest. Each time I would accidentally step into the mud, I kept imagining the pond would suddenly fill up with thick mucky water and I would sink into it like quicksand. Bubbles floating to the muddy surface and bursting abruptly. It would probably sound like PLOP, SQUISH, or SPLAT! After that ordeal, we finally made it to solid ground. That's when we ran into something even stranger than old tires; the back of an old truck with a torn musty door on the back. "Hello?" we shouted to see if some old bum might've been living in there. No answer, I guess it's abandoned. Well, let's get outta here! No, my brother goes inside the truck. I'm fearful that he might slip on some old flooring and fall on a nail or something. He finds a mattress and some gross looking stains on it. Continuing on, we see a van of some sort just past the trees in the other direction. I was paranoid that some guy was behind the wheel watching us but upon closer inspection, we found that the van was old as fuck and completely rotted out. It looked like some old shagging van that hipsters used in the 60's and 70's for bangin' broads. On the side of it was a bunch of graffiti and lewd phrases. Things like "Anal gangsters" and "Cumpster." I wondered what kind of anal gangster might have owned this van before we found it. Were we the new anal gangsters claiming this van as our own? Who knows. We found a license plate, "Wisconsin 1961" I believe was the place and date of origin. We crept inside to investigate the interior but found nothing but rust, spider webs, and exposed car parts. Hmmm, interesting but reasonable. We found other cars and tires as well but those two stood out the most becuase the other old vehicles were so covered by branches and brush that it was hard to make out what kind of car they were. Oh, and we saw this cool muscle car with trees growing out through the middle and out the sides. A sight to be seen through just the right eyes. After wards, we made it back home and threw on some good tunes. I remember sitting on my coach with my eyes closed listening to music and imagining the most vivid daydreams. Picture listening to one of your favorite songs and imagining a music video that pertains to your life. It was like that but the music video was very vivid and thought provoking. All in all, the acid was kind of like a mild mushroom trip but if you've never done shrooms then I guess you've got no frame of reference. You'll just have to try it for yourself! And that's my acid story, I should have some cool pictures once I get 'em from my brother.
However that was just one story from last month and I still have much to discuss about my favorite month of the year: October. Leaves turn from green to pretty oranges and soft yellows and eventually fall off the trees and die. Not to mention October brings my age up a full year! This year, the big 21. What did I do? Not much actually, went bowling and got a couple free drinks from some drunk guys in the bar. Oh yeah, and I got a cake and some food too from my mother. yum yum. But now that I'm 21, I thought I would be livin' easy but to be honest, alcohol gets sour after drinking it like nonstop since the month began. Why can't they just sell mushrooms over the counter like in Amsterdam? That would be way easier than having to look around high and low. Plus their more enjoyable than alcohol, so long you don't have a bad trip. It leaves you with a profound perspective on your place in the world whereas booze just makes you depressive and slushy but if that's your fix than good for you! I've had some what of a bad trip on alcohol a few times. Like When I saw Infected Mushroom live. Me and my blood brother, who's name I'll just leave out if you don't mind, got super drunk before walking in through the doors of Infected Mushroom. Chuggin' a whole fuck ton of Vodka was fun until my stomach just tapped me on the shoulder and was all like, "Hey Teddy, man... you just drank like waaaayyy too much vodka earlier and now I'm gonna have to act a fool. My stomach proceeded to slap me in the face and spat on my shoe. I felt my head spinning and my insides bursting with a water balloon full of corrosive acids. The opening DJs sounded more and more like nails on a chalkboard. Finally I had to step outside to the designated smoking area and catch some fresh air. "What's wrong with him?" people asked as I sit down hunched over holding my stomach. My brother told 'em "too much to drink." They were like "Ohhhh, yup." As if they knew exactly how I felt. Fuckin' alcohol, why can't we have drugs available to the public that doesn't make you feel shitty as fuck when you've had too much. That shit doesn't happen with weed! At worst you fall asleep watchin' To Catch A Predator with Chris Hansen after you've smoked yourself silly. You see I we hit the trees until we look like Vietnamese people. But once you drink alcohol until you can't see, you gotta vomit, curse at strangers, get belligerent in public, drive drunk and cause 42 car pile up. And we sell this drug at convenience stores. But I digress. Here I am drunk as a motherfuck at an Infected Mushroom concert when I decide; "Time to throw up!" projectile vomiting into a toilet doesn't seem too disgusting when you immediately feel a wave of relief wash over you. My stomach thanked me and shook my hand. I made out just in time to enjoy a good concert from Israel trance duo Infected Mushroom. Still, getting high would have been way easier.
Moving on, I've been doing a lot of bowling this month to ease my nerves. lately I've been stressed because I haven't had a woman to caress in quite a long time. That, and I picked up second job makin' pizzas at a lame ass pizza joint in late August. That same pizza joint moved into the spot where my mother was put out of business in the local strip mall. I quit that bull shit after a month of putting up with my bitch manager bustin' my freakin' chops every time I'm not working as fast as she wants me to. So that's the cause of my anguish in my personal life lately, strikes and gutters. It's a dog eat dog world and it amazes me how inhuman we can be to each other. I've seen a lot of campaign ads on TV lately that say "so and so's political plan will eliminate jobs in America! Vote for blah blue blunt and he'll create more jobs for us!" FUCK JOBS! Why do people find it's a good thing to create jobs and get working. I know some people would read that and just say "Well, Herb your just lazy and dumb. Jobs are what keep America economically strong and so fourth and blah and blah..." But think about, who likes working? I know there's people that are like, "Well, I love my job. I get paid to do what I love!" But if your doing that same shit for like 40 years of your life, you can't honestly say you enjoy working doing that same shit you used to love doing. You'll prolly hate it! And why exactly do you work? You gotta get paid right? Wrong. You don't need money to survive, you can't eat it for nourishment. It's the rules put into play by our "policies" and "political agenda" that makes money so important amongst us in this day and age. It's possible to live in a safe world and enjoy life without financial matters. People are just too distracted and blinded by government, media, and religion to see how much bull shit is put into the whole monetary that controls us today. If your as sick of money as I am, check out the Venus Project and learn how we can live in a functional world without currency
If your the kind of person that just LOVES money and thinks money is the source of happiness, I feel bad for you and I think you should reconsider the concept of being a slave on the wage wheel. That is all for now, folks. But hey, I'm not finished with October yet! We still got Halloween to discuss!
Hope you enjoyed my tid bits and two cents,
theHERB
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