Under The Influence

Here I am listening to Eminem, the tracks you usually skip because you don't like the sound of someone killing their (murdered) wife, with a head full of acid and a pipe full of weed. I'm just a hooligan who's used to using hallucinogens. So you can suck my dick if you don't like my shit, 'cause I was high when I wrote this so suck my dick. But I believe in the goodness of man; killing and exchanging gun fire is just all fun and games in this head. My words are like dagger with a jagged edge, it'll stab you in the head whether you a fag or lez or the homo-sex, hermaph, or a trans or vest? parent's address? Hate fags, the answer's yes. Homophobic? Nah, you just hetero-phobic. staring at my jeans watching my genitals bulging. That's my motherfucking balls, you better let go of 'em they belong in MY SCROTUM, YOU'LL NEVER GET A HOLD OF 'EM! Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it so when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it. So I be disguised in it. And if anybody identifies the guy in it, I hide for 5 minutes. Come back, shoot the eye witness, fire at the private eye, hide the pride in my business? Die bitches, bastards, brats, pets. This fuckin' puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet. Just saying, I don't give a fuck right now because if I'm not an artist or a writer of some kind, I'll be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask.
I like to draw explicit adult material, but I also sharing my thoughts about human perversity, economic leadership, and governmental policies. All brought to you by a man influences by marijuana and lots of drugs. I call that man the "Herb" and that man is me. Some call marijuana a "gate-way" drug when in reality it's an eyeopener, a regular plant that happens to be caught in the wrong market at the wrong wrong time. A time when America has fucked itself over so hard, it's asking itself to repay it's own debts. An elite group of intelligent deviants has managed to infiltrate it's way into leading it's very own empire. No rules, no questions asked. These people are so clever they have convinced a massive amount of people, i.e. the American populace, to obey every word said on TV, news, and the radio. All "in the name of God." After all, in god we trust. You know what god is? I'm not talking about "the" God, the one they say is up there in the sky somewhere. I'm talking about the word "God" and the way people use it to control. Somehow, people reinforced laws that take away basic freedoms that humans should be allowed. I'm not trying to be sacrilegious and downgrade theism or any other creeds. I just think it's ridiculous how much a man named Jesus Christ is worshiped. Now I get it that a man who accomplishes a great deal of good and dies wrongfully should be remembered and praised for their good deeds but people believe this certain man could "walk on water" and "bring death back to life" now, we have a problem. I believe Jesus Christ was not a man, but rather a metaphor. The metaphor is for the sun. The sun shines on water at dawn, and brings life to plant life in the spring. The sun in the sky. Think about it, the word sun comes from son as in the son of god (the word god). Those are just old stories from 2000 years ago. The way I see it, in mid-evil times, people were told if you don't believe in god or the tales of Jesus Christ, you'll go to a terrible terrible place where you will be burned for eternity. This man is not so convinced. Life always comes to an end, who can really tell what happens to your mind, your memories, your "soul" after your body has come to an end. This man believes eternal life has everything to do with how you left your mark on this planet, Earth. If you were a good man, you will be praised and worshiped long after your death. If you are evil, people will remember the crimes you have committed. For some, they don't care for their sins they have committed during their mortal lives, but the evil that men do always lives on. Now more about god, I'm still talking about the word "god", I'll tell you when I'm talking about the real deal. I think of the word god like how George Carlin views God.
It's the greatest bull shit story ever told. We are humans here, people. I hope you are reading this because I'm talking about you people. YOU! I also hope you know the English language or aren't just passing through the internet searching for porn like I would be had it be any ordinary night. But tonight is not ordinary, is it? After all, St. Nick is supposed to leave you candy and shit tonight isn't he? Tonight you get to hear a word form this man who calls himself "herb." Well, on the internet anyways. Tonight the Herb, I'll stop talking in third person now, now now, tonight I have taken LSD and started blogging aimlessly for some kind of credit. I consider myself an agnostic. For all I know, aliens came here thousands or millions of years ago and implanted larger more intelligent brains in primates and have watched and research the way these primates acted, influenced, and have died under a number of given circumstances, i.e. natural selection, until we find ourselves in the predicament we are in today. The truth is out there. Everything you here of man preaching about this and that is just nonsense. Go you're own way, don't take any shit, and if you hear a celebrity trying to sell something to you, just ignore him. I'm getting a headache now, so good night. Maybe I'll discuss these matters later. Maybe I won't. Good night. Now, what do I think the world needs in our day and age? Love, it's all you need.

~theHERB

October is awesome, autumn, alcohol, acid, artistic, and anguish.

It's been much too long since my last blog entry. A lot has happened over the coarse of October. From late September until now I've tried LSD, I've turned 21, and I took an interest in a film school. I've been doped, drunk, drugged, and dosed into a depressive downer of a mood. But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist. It's my favorite time of the year and I'll enjoy it however I want. I'll just get drunk and go bowling! So where do I start? I guess I'll fill you in on my acid experience if that's alright with you.

I know a lot of people just roll their eyes and continue with regular business once they hear some freak talking about their obscure drug stories conjugated up in a delirious frenzy but I feel it is important that I tell you anyway. Whoever you are. Who are you anyways? CIA? FBI? UFO? Anyways, I had purchased two hits of acid from this black market salesman as I like to call 'em about half way through September. I originally had planned to keep them in my freezer until my birthday, October 9th. However, I heard friends saying the chemical can disintegrate if left in there too long. That and each day that passed when I had them freezing in there, I became continuously more bored and curious. So finally, after about a week, it was September 24th and I decided to eat 'em! It was about 4:20 in the morning when I put one hit on my tongue and swallowed it after a couple minutes. I took it so early in the morning because I had seen the sunrise on mushrooms before and I remember that being very inspiring and insightful so I figured I would revisit that experience. Something about the sun rising is just so much more graceful and peaceful then watching it set. Since it was 4:20, I figured I would smoke a little weed until I start trippin'. Then I threw on The Beatles Yellow Submarine to set the mood right. I finished my bowl o' Mary Jane and watched the entire movie but I didn't feel any different. The movie was entertaining and the weed got me high but I felt the same as before, basically. So I called over my blood brother for life who just got off the graveyard shift at his job. He came over and I told him about my experiences so far. He figured I mind as well eat the other dose since the first didn't do anything. Good point. I ate the other hit and asked him to drive me around. So here I am being driven around with two hits of LSD in my system when I start feeling a grin stretch across my face. I started impulsively giggling in the car as I notice the colors around me becoming more and more interesting. My older brother gave me a funny look and shook his head. He knew what was up. Alright so these colors and textures are pretty cool. No big deal. He drove me up to the top of this cool little hill that overlooks the town. Only me and my friends know about the hill so it made it a special place to be. We snagged a few snap shots and I went to took a piss on a very strange looking bush. After sharing a few laughs, we decided to continue driving. We couldn't go straight home yet, I might have to interact with normal people o_O. That's when we decided to check out the local park and rec area. We smoked a little more ganja and strolled on down the dog walking paths. More pictures. That's when we discovered a kind of hidden path behind a fallen tree. Shuffling and scraping through some bush we found ourselves staring at a dried up swamp with old tires scattered all over the place. What a strange scene, my mind was exploding with ideas of wonder and confusion. We thought maybe the dogs played in the tires or something. We soon learned that wasn't the case when we kept running into old tires all over the place. We walked across fallen trees and tires in the dried out pond and made our way slowly to the forest. Each time I would accidentally step into the mud, I kept imagining the pond would suddenly fill up with thick mucky water and I would sink into it like quicksand. Bubbles floating to the muddy surface and bursting abruptly. It would probably sound like PLOP, SQUISH, or SPLAT! After that ordeal, we finally made it to solid ground. That's when we ran into something even stranger than old tires; the back of an old truck with a torn musty door on the back. "Hello?" we shouted to see if some old bum might've been living in there. No answer, I guess it's abandoned. Well, let's get outta here! No, my brother goes inside the truck. I'm fearful that he might slip on some old flooring and fall on a nail or something. He finds a mattress and some gross looking stains on it. Continuing on, we see a van of some sort just past the trees in the other direction. I was paranoid that some guy was behind the wheel watching us but upon closer inspection, we found that the van was old as fuck and completely rotted out. It looked like some old shagging van that hipsters used in the 60's and 70's for bangin' broads. On the side of it was a bunch of graffiti and lewd phrases. Things like "Anal gangsters" and "Cumpster." I wondered what kind of anal gangster might have owned this van before we found it. Were we the new anal gangsters claiming this van as our own? Who knows. We found a license plate, "Wisconsin 1961" I believe was the place and date of origin. We crept inside to investigate the interior but found nothing but rust, spider webs, and exposed car parts. Hmmm, interesting but reasonable. We found other cars and tires as well but those two stood out the most becuase the other old vehicles were so covered by branches and brush that it was hard to make out what kind of car they were. Oh, and we saw this cool muscle car with trees growing out through the middle and out the sides. A sight to be seen through just the right eyes. After wards, we made it back home and threw on some good tunes. I remember sitting on my coach with my eyes closed listening to music and imagining the most vivid daydreams. Picture listening to one of your favorite songs and imagining a music video that pertains to your life. It was like that but the music video was very vivid and thought provoking. All in all, the acid was kind of like a mild mushroom trip but if you've never done shrooms then I guess you've got no frame of reference. You'll just have to try it for yourself! And that's my acid story, I should have some cool pictures once I get 'em from my brother.

However that was just one story from last month and I still have much to discuss about my favorite month of the year: October. Leaves turn from green to pretty oranges and soft yellows and eventually fall off the trees and die. Not to mention October brings my age up a full year! This year, the big 21. What did I do? Not much actually, went bowling and got a couple free drinks from some drunk guys in the bar. Oh yeah, and I got a cake and some food too from my mother. yum yum. But now that I'm 21, I thought I would be livin' easy but to be honest, alcohol gets sour after drinking it like nonstop since the month began. Why can't they just sell mushrooms over the counter like in Amsterdam? That would be way easier than having to look around high and low. Plus their more enjoyable than alcohol, so long you don't have a bad trip. It leaves you with a profound perspective on your place in the world whereas booze just makes you depressive and slushy but if that's your fix than good for you! I've had some what of a bad trip on alcohol a few times. Like When I saw Infected Mushroom live. Me and my blood brother, who's name I'll just leave out if you don't mind, got super drunk before walking in through the doors of Infected Mushroom. Chuggin' a whole fuck ton of Vodka was fun until my stomach just tapped me on the shoulder and was all like, "Hey Teddy, man... you just drank like waaaayyy too much vodka earlier and now I'm gonna have to act a fool. My stomach proceeded to slap me in the face and spat on my shoe. I felt my head spinning and my insides bursting with a water balloon full of corrosive acids. The opening DJs sounded more and more like nails on a chalkboard. Finally I had to step outside to the designated smoking area and catch some fresh air. "What's wrong with him?" people asked as I sit down hunched over holding my stomach. My brother told 'em "too much to drink." They were like "Ohhhh, yup." As if they knew exactly how I felt. Fuckin' alcohol, why can't we have drugs available to the public that doesn't make you feel shitty as fuck when you've had too much. That shit doesn't happen with weed! At worst you fall asleep watchin' To Catch A Predator with Chris Hansen after you've smoked yourself silly. You see I we hit the trees until we look like Vietnamese people. But once you drink alcohol until you can't see, you gotta vomit, curse at strangers, get belligerent in public, drive drunk and cause 42 car pile up. And we sell this drug at convenience stores. But I digress. Here I am drunk as a motherfuck at an Infected Mushroom concert when I decide; "Time to throw up!" projectile vomiting into a toilet doesn't seem too disgusting when you immediately feel a wave of relief wash over you. My stomach thanked me and shook my hand. I made out just in time to enjoy a good concert from Israel trance duo Infected Mushroom. Still, getting high would have been way easier.

Moving on, I've been doing a lot of bowling this month to ease my nerves. lately I've been stressed because I haven't had a woman to caress in quite a long time. That, and I picked up second job makin' pizzas at a lame ass pizza joint in late August. That same pizza joint moved into the spot where my mother was put out of business in the local strip mall. I quit that bull shit after a month of putting up with my bitch manager bustin' my freakin' chops every time I'm not working as fast as she wants me to. So that's the cause of my anguish in my personal life lately, strikes and gutters. It's a dog eat dog world and it amazes me how inhuman we can be to each other. I've seen a lot of campaign ads on TV lately that say "so and so's political plan will eliminate jobs in America! Vote for blah blue blunt and he'll create more jobs for us!" FUCK JOBS! Why do people find it's a good thing to create jobs and get working. I know some people would read that and just say "Well, Herb your just lazy and dumb. Jobs are what keep America economically strong and so fourth and blah and blah..." But think about, who likes working? I know there's people that are like, "Well, I love my job. I get paid to do what I love!" But if your doing that same shit for like 40 years of your life, you can't honestly say you enjoy working doing that same shit you used to love doing. You'll prolly hate it! And why exactly do you work? You gotta get paid right? Wrong. You don't need money to survive, you can't eat it for nourishment. It's the rules put into play by our "policies" and "political agenda" that makes money so important amongst us in this day and age. It's possible to live in a safe world and enjoy life without financial matters. People are just too distracted and blinded by government, media, and religion to see how much bull shit is put into the whole monetary that controls us today. If your as sick of money as I am, check out the Venus Project and learn how we can live in a functional world without currency

If your the kind of person that just LOVES money and thinks money is the source of happiness, I feel bad for you and I think you should reconsider the concept of being a slave on the wage wheel. That is all for now, folks. But hey, I'm not finished with October yet! We still got Halloween to discuss!

Hope you enjoyed my tid bits and two cents,

theHERB

2010's best CUTTING EDGE action movie. Ladies and gentlemen, MACHETE review

This summer has been pretty action packed in the theaters, you've got some dream kung-fu in INCEPTION, you've got all your favorite action movie stars from the past 30 years found duking it out together in the EXPENDABLES, and sparkly vampires fighting questionably gay werewolves in TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE. But nothing can prepare you for the last action movie of the summer, MACHETE! Not even the big pot brownie that I ate before watching this movie. If you don't have any background information on this movie, I'll que you in on who directed this and what to expect. If you haven't seen 2007's Double Feature GRINDHOUSE featuring back to back movies directed by Quintin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. Many people know and love Tarantino's films and their unique movie styles but I feel as though Rodriguez's history is not so celebrated even though he started in movies around the same time as Quintin. Maybe it just seems that way because he usually never stars in his own films like Tarantino does. Either way, I love and respect Rodriguez films even though I'm not such a great fan of action movies. He was the mind behind some of my favorite action movies such as DESPERADO, ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO and SIN CITY. He collaborated with Tarantino back in 1996 to make the best vampire flick, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN starring George Clooney and Harvey Keitel. The only film I hate him for are those retarded ass SPY KIDS movies. Fuck that, plus I just read that he is in the process of making a SPY KIDS 4 in 3-D like the third one. God damnit, that shits gonna blow. But this is Machete! And damnit, what has he done with my wife and daughter!!!! For this style movie, the story line was surprisingly in depth and thought provoking. Sure it was gory as hell and pretty ridiculous over all but it maintained a fast paced entertaining thrill ride up until one final shoot out between the Mexicans and the U.S. Border patrol. Danny Trejo puts on a killer performance among a hit cast including Robert DeNiro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguiz, Stevan Seagal, Cheech Marin, and Lindsay Lohan. Machete gets the women, Machete kills the bad guys, Machete don't text.

----------------------------BOTTOM LINE----------------------------------

MACHETE = 8 out of 10

Take us OUT,


~theHERB

Have you ever danced with the devil in a pale moonlight?

New Self Promoted pictures featuring me, myself, and I.

Looking for someone or something to show me the way

I've been thinking about doing a comic panel about my persona, The Herb. Here are a few more shots of my car and other herb related things.

Pinch me, I must be dreaming... INCEPTION REVIEW

Ever have a dream within a dream? Me neither, but I hear they're pretty cool if you remember them, granted there aren't extractors lurking around your brain stealing your ideas and planting new ones while you sleep. Inception has been expected to be Christopher Nolan's next acclaimed "masterpiece." And it is quite a masterpiece for Nolan. Since The Dark Knight, Nolan has been hyped up to be the next MOVIE KING in Hollywood by today's movie watchers. But I'm not just some ordinary movie watcher, I'm the HERB; and I have my own way of analyzing movies.
Inception is based around the idea that a mysterious machine first created by the military some time ago can link people's dreams together while the sleep. While in these "Shared Dreams," people are able to construct huge cities and walk through them with other people and the other people's "Subconscious projections" who act as white blood cells fighting an infection only in the dream, the infection is you.
The characters in the film are very solid and pretty well drawn out. I found that Leo Decap's role in this film (Mr. Cobb) wasn't far from his character in his last movie, Shutter Island by Martin S. In both films, Leo Decap's character has a secret guilt and regret that you don't entirely know until the end of the film when he has overcome it. But this movie had more to do with dreams instead of sanity like Shutter Island which I also enjoyed. However after you see this movie you might think your going insane... or still sleeping...
Ellen Page in the film seemed to pick up on the whole shared dreaming experience a bit too quickly, I mean I've heard of someone being a natural at something but she could at least act like she was surprised at the concept of being able to share a dream with someone else. She always seems to try to one up Mr. Cobb (Leo Decap) in the dream like she's been doing it for years even though she just started. All of a sudden she can make huge mazes and shit with like a week's practice. I just thought she did a bad job acting like a learner to dreaming and too much of an attitude driven bitch to Mr. Cobb (Leo Decap.)
I guess I'll discuss the things I did not care for in the film. Personally, I'm not one for cheap thrills like explosive gun fights or over exaggerated hand to hand combat unless it is dealt with correctly in an interesting way. Not to say that this movie had doll action scenes but I suppose my biggest beef with the movie is the amount of shoot outs vs. the cool trippy dream material. I just thought the film could have had done more with the whole dream concept and experience instead of having filler fight and shoot-out scenes to keep the regular movie viewer thrilled. I'm not a regular movie viewer and if I were doing the screen play I would have made more dream physics to be played with throughout the movie like in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which in my opinion has the best vision when it comes to trying to recreate a dream in film adaptation.
That being said, the trippy dream shit that they did have was pretty fuckin' cool. I don't want to give anything away but I they do something in this film that I have never seen a film do before using dream physics. My bottom line is set:

I give Inception by Christopher Nolen a 7 out of 10.

Thank you, this is The Herb Kerby bringing you movie reviews through a different set of eyes.

A taste of things to come...

Alright, so if anyone follows me on my other websites, you'll know that I've been on a European vacation and I've got a quite a lot of stories I've been gathering and preparing to blog about. However I've been home for one week now and still I haven't constructed one story, scrap, or sketch. I still haven't finished my STACEYTRON part 2 story I wanted to finish before the trip. The truth is, I've been working my ass off at my job trying to pay back all these debts, late bills, and other financial bull shits. That and I've been extremely lazy outside of work so I've just been doing the usual porn downloading and fapping. My fans out there (if I have any) might be waiting for some kind of exciting new artwork or tale but I seem to be at mental block, the same mental block I wanted to overcome by going on this trip. I even stopped smoking weed in an attempt to overcome my laziness and save extra cash; my name's "The Herb!" What to do? I could really use a fan base or something to help keep me motivated. A partner in crime perhaps. Someone who digs what I'm saying but the only way to reach out to those fans is to create more work to get recognized. On top of managing the DA Bouncy Babes group, and talking with other artists out there, I have to get a second source of income to pay bills. Maybe I should consider getting hooked on coke, at least then I'll have some motivation to get more money. To buy more coke! No but seriously I've never tried coke... yet! XD

If anyone cares, this isn't a cry for help but rather an update of how I've been progressing in the online community and how I feel towards getting off my lazy ass to find more jobs, more work, something to keep me occupied that I don't mind doing. Maybe meeting new people both online and in the real world.

~theHERB

The Herb's new riiiddddeee!!!!!!

working on my persona. The HERB: Behind the wheel of a Lamborghini with a Desert Eagle out my window. Yes, I've been playing too much GTA4.

Self Portrait... You're Entering a World of Pain.

This Portrait of myself was inspired by Walter Sobchak.

New Pictures

You're entering a world of pain.

IRON MAN 2

*Note: I started typing this weeks ago and never got around to finishing it but I thought since I went through the trouble of starting it, I should at least post the progress I made, mo matter how little of the film's contents I covered. I promise my next movie review will be less drunk and more comprehensive. Not to mention entertaining and honest (sometimes harsh) just like how the Herb does all his business.

Alrighty folks do you now what time it is... ? It's movie review time with The Herb Krby, understand? This weekend's movie: Iron Man 2. Starring Robert Downy Jr., Mickey Rourke, Don Cheadle, Gweneth Paltrow, Scarlet Johansen, Samuel L. Jackson, Sam Rockwell... the list goes on. Fuck it, I don't feel like reviewing this right now, I'm too drunk and tired. I give it a 6 out of 10. hmmm actually I'm sick of it now 5 out of 10.

The Legend of Staceytron -part 1

Earth in the distant future. This place was once filled with life. That life gave birth to new life. That life would feed off the meat and bones of other lives. And that life fed from other kinds of life as well. But this is Earth in the distant future. Things are quite different now. Things that were once fast have slowed to complete halt. The sun would often rise and shine over all the plentiful life that used to populate the planet. Now it seems the sun has nothing but plains of vast emptiness to shine down on. No life at all found on Earth in the distant future. What happened? Where did everything go? Lingering spirits are all that remain. Spirits live forever and only a fool could believe that humankind is without spirit. The human spirit... what does it represent?
Suddenly, something began to boil deep beneath the Earth's murky waters with bubbles conjuring up to the surface. On a beach, a figure became visible rising from the waves. How could this be? Life has not graced the land in ages... The figure appeared to be a young woman, however, being the only living being on the planet, what exactly is a woman without a man to make comparison? Her face was unlike that of any traditional human's face; it had no features. No lips, no nose, not even eyes... Being born from the deep abyss of the sea, what genetic features would such a face possess? The woman was disorientated from the long quest of traveling through ocean depths. She stumbled through the sand searching for some kind of shelter from the cold breeze that has embraced her soft flesh. She discovered some sort of rags subdued in the sand and wore them appropriately to cover her nude body. The woman looked around the vast plain of baron, lifeless land. There were huge symmetrical structures made of stone raising up through the ground. She past through them searching for any sign of life but found nothing. One of the structures she came across had a collection of strange scribes and information. What was this place? She investigated the nearest scribe filled with pages and upon touching it, could see all of it's contents. Of coarse she couldn't decipher any of the random symbols to make any sense of them but she thought that maybe if she went around and collected all of the scribes, she might figure out how to read the strange symbols.
For days she spent gathering the pages and "tele-reading" all of them. She learned that the scribes are known as "books" and that she had been reading them inside a "library." She also learned the English language and 36 other languages, fluently. After studying up on the books she realized that she couldn't be one of these humans because she felt no desire to eat or breathe. However, after getting a glimpse at humanity and the culture that used to inhabit the planet, the woman found it would be only appropriate to give herself an identity, a face like the rest of the humans she had read about and marveled over. Using only a blade she discovered and her bare hands, she carved herself her very own face to which she saw fit. She found a nearby mirror covered in dust and wiped it clean. She smiled, satisfied by her new image. While running her fingers through her hair, she noticed something else she hadn't seen before. It was a symbol on the back of her neck; a bar-code with a name under it. It read "STACEYTRON"

END OF PART 1

Racism needs to die

So here I am roaming the internet, checking my favorite websites; particularly hentai sites (don't judge me.) And I came across a picture that made me rather upset. It was a pic of colonel Sander's with two black slaves in bondage on his left and right. The piece was called "Slavery is bad" but in the artist comment box the artist explained how the only thing that was meant to be ironic was the title because he thought slavery was one of America's best ideas. He continued to discuss how blacks are "disgusting sub-human mongoloids" and it made me appalled that there are humans amongst us who still enjoy keeping the ideals of racism and slavery alive. I'm not surprised. I think it's improper education and whatever culture raised him to give someone such false viewpoints. It made me think of one of my all time favorite video games; Manhunt for the Playstation 2. James Earl Cash forced to kill for an underground sick blackmarket of cut throat snuff videos. One of the missions was to navigate through gang territory of a group of racist redneck neanderthals called the "Skinz". Each gang member would spew repulsive racist references. Although they were a rather tough gang, I always had satisfaction executing each and every one of those motherfuckers. I remember that mission was one of the first to introduce the baseball bat, which you could use to crack a downed opponents skull open with or choke them and bat there head clean off. After every kill I made sure to bust open each one of their heads to make sure that their dumbass backwards logic was permanently sniffed out. The main antagonist, Starkweather, seemed to be pleased after I killed them too, he would always comment about how he hated those "Dumbass supremest bastards, always blaming others for their own inadequacies" and thank me for killing them. So please, if you are a racist prejudice dumbass redneck spewing back-asswards conservative notions like slavery or racial segregation, take a metal baseball bat and bash your fucking skull in until bits of your fucking retarded-logic brain matter is left soaking all over the pavement.

-this is The Herb saying goodnight, racism.

Weed scrounging defined.

Weed scrounging: It's where you are forced to resort to going through all of your your old or new marijuana containers to find at least one hit you can use to make the night a little more enjoyable. Maybe your dealer can't deliver tonight. Or maybe he's on vacation. So here you are holding empty plastic bags up to the light to see if there's even the slightest bit of pot in it. Anything that's green and contains the beloved THC. Whatever the reason is to make you resort to weed scrounging, this is The Herb wishing you luck and I hope that whatever you find is just enough to get you high!

Pipes and pipes!

A collection of snapshots of the new hardware I bought for smoking weed with. My pipe is on the left

4/20, my new favorite holiday.

I submitted a blog entry earlier today explaining that I would spent the most of this day while high. Pretty much the whole day. I smoked a bowl by myself then went on my way to see what kind of adventure the day had in store. A good friend of mine dropped by and we were off to have a little roadie (a joyride involving pot smoking while driving or as a passenger) and the things we saw were quite interesting if I do say so. I had to swing by the bank and on my way to the bank we saw some kind Muslim wearing a towel on his head. I waved to him but he gave no reply. After picking up some cash from the bank I took a sharp right and saw a man distributing hate papers. "IMPEACH OBAMA" the sign read. Under the caption was a picture of Obama with a Hitler mustache. It remembered it was Hitler's birthday today. Don't ask how I know that. My friend and I couldn't believe someone would sit at the curb distributing such business. A cop had pulled up on him, what he said to him I do not know. But I turned around after the cop left and my friend stuck his head out the window and demanded the man to state his business. He gave us a brochure the title said something like "The Devil in Your Laptop" or some shit. We chuckled and kept driving. I think people who are gonna knock Obama should just chill out. We are living under a capitalist economy that rules and dominates the typical American life, health care bills and computer conspiracy will get you nowhere until someone finds out that capitalism folds under through constant practice, that's just how it is. No matter what president would be governing America now can't fix any financial problems until we eliminate the banks control over everything these days. But I digress. Our next stop was at a girl I've recently been hanging around with. On the way there I saw a hot sexy car, a Lamborghini Murcielago, one of my all time favorite looking cars! We stopped by her place and smoked but we couldn't stay long so we were onto our next item on the agenda, go to local favorite head shop and buy a new pipe. On our drive there we realized it was almost 4/20 and we weren't smoking ganja. Well we quickly packed a small bowl while on the road and lit that shit up at 4:20 PM on the dot. The alternative radio station was playing a special announcement "Attention listeners, it will be 4:20 PM at the tone -BEEP" I took another drag as the radio started to play "One Love" by Bob Marley. I felt classy smokin' weed at 4:20 on 4/20 while listening to some 4/20 jams. I looked in the rear view mirror only to see a cop driving at my right side a couple cars back. "Shit!" was my instant reaction- did he see me? WAS I GOING TO BE PULLED OVER? But no. The gods blessed me with some of that good fortune today. Perhaps my position in the universe was that of great luck. Could it be the hands of the Divine at work? The driver in front of me had just cut me off. I had to slam on my brakes. The cop had noticed the other driver's mistake and began to follow him as he turned off to another street. He might've been pulled over but I didn't look back. I knew I was safe for the time being. We had arrived at the head shop at around quarter to 5 and stepped inside. I wanted to by a small piece I could keep with me. I am a regular at this particular shop so I chatted with the shop owner about the great deals they had today (very high the whole time I might add). All glass pipes were 50% off. I was quite excited about the tremendous deal and went right ahead and bought one of the coolest, most expensive pipes there! It was originally $350 but after 50% off I bought this beast of a pipe for $175!!! It's pretty much the coolest thing I've ever seen. I'll definitely be smoking some of that great green tonight! My buddy got an even more expensive pipe and it looks equal amazing as mine! His is a bubble so it'll give real refreshing rips. I can't wait to try it! After dropping my friend off at his car, I arrived home at my parents to find that my mother had made delicious taco fixings for "Taco Tuesday" What a great surprise! After eating the fuck out some bomb tacos, I smoked a cigarette and wrote about my day in a blog. What did you do today?

Hello and welcome to my mind.

It is a beautiful sun shiny day this particular Tuesday, April 20th, 2010. Hello and welcome to my new blog. This is my first post so I think I'll take this time to tell you a little about myself. In this place I am known as Theodore Herbert Kerby, I am a 20-year-old Romantic struggling to live a peaceful life in this chaotic time and place known as America in the 21st century. I came here to express some of my own observations about life and to add my philosophical viewpoints on any given subject. Writing is not the only thing I'm good at, I also produce erotic artwork as an amateur artist trying to find my calling. My artwork contains suggestive content ranging from mild nudity to hardcore penetration. In this blog I plan on submitting all kinds of things, everything from my art pieces to recent experiences I've had in my life. The content of this blog is targeted to towards mature audiences; drugs, sex, and politics will be discussed so please keep your children away from this page. If your an angry mother and are offended by the content here, this is why I set the mature content disclaimer upon entrance to the blog.
Now that you know what your getting into upon reading and following this blog, I will start by saying today I plan on being very high. In marijuana counterculture, today is known as 4/20, national weed smoking day. I had hoped to find more mid-quality ganja to make brownies with but I haven't had much luck so far. What I do have is some high-quality marijuana otherwise known as "Dank" to smoke and enjoy all day into the night. Tomorrow, I am seeing a concert by one of my all time favorite music groups, The Flaming Lips. Drugs is what I want to enjoy the show but if I can't find any, I'm sure I'll still have a good time. Of coarse I'll write about any interesting experiences I may encounter during the show, until then I really can't think of posting anything else for this first blog entry. This is my first blog, so I hope it works out and I hope you all enjoy! Please feel free to leave comments at the bottom, I enjoy feedback from fellow fans.